Two weeks ago TJ and I traveled to Ghana, West Africa to meet two little souls… two little children we’ve had photos of on our fridge, have been praying for each night and have been constantly thinking how our life will be like with them in it.

It was the strangest feeling meeting my children for the first time.. We already felt a connection with their picture while living half way around the world because we knew that these two little kids would soon be coming home with us. Both at 5, they have their own personalities, likes and dislikes, and strengths. Getting to know our children was an exciting and strange feeling.

For so long many of us have been content in our lives, including myself. We know about the orphan issue in many third world countries, but we choose to not make it a priority. It’s easy to not make it a priority- many of us won’t be able to travel over to a place like Africa to see all of the issues first-hand. We know the hunger, pain and orphan crisis is happening even here in the U.S, but we don’t feel connected.

After holding my two children in my arms- I feel connected to the issue. Their cute little faces, smiles and personalities are similar to the other 100 million+ orphans around the world that need a loving family and I now feel required to advocate for all of them!

Our trip, although short, was an insight into our children’s lives and culture. The food, the sounds and the sights are all something both my husband and I feel are a big part of this adoption process and is something to celebrate for the rest of our lives!

While we were in country we were supposed to attend court. The adoption process is definitely a test of patience and letting go of control- our court date has been rescheduled three times (after I started writing this post it has been rescheduled for the 4th time!!), which is very typical of the way things work.  Our in-country representative will be able to attend court on our behalf and if everything goes well, we will “officially” be the parents of “J” and “F”. We will then be able to proceed to the second-to-last part of the process- filing the 1600. To file, my Dad will be traveling with me hopefully in November and I will be able to spend more time with “J” and “F” and he will be able to meet his grandchildren!

After court we will officially be the parents of three five year olds- people often joke that we are going to have triplets! In the beginning of this process I would have never even given thought to the possibility of us adopting two five year olds. I wrote here about how our initial ideals of the child we wanted to adopt changed from a small window to us opening our hearts to whatever child/ren came despite their ages and gender.

Now, even after meeting them and their big personalities (that will fit right in with our family!), the idea doesn’t seem as crazy to us as it does to everyone else….. THREE five year olds!

Hopefully within a few weeks I will be able to share the photos of all of us during our trip, but for now I’m sharing the wonderful country of Ghana. Most of these photos are in the city of Accra, where we were most of the time.

The streets were lined with small shops and always busy with people. The women carried heavy loads on their head- often without using their hands. I have videos I took of “F” playing and carrying things on her head, which will be fun videos to look back on when she’s older. I was also amazed when she broke off a palm branch during lunch and made it into a broom to sweep the dirty floor!

I am so so grateful for the time I was able to spend in Ghana, but one of the hardest parts of the adoption process is saying goodbye… us saying goodbye the first time and the second time, only to be able to bring them home almost a year later. The wait is hard!

Then comes the bittersweet time they have to say goodbye to their friends and their country. I will be so glad to be able to bring them home, but I know it will be a hard transition time for them missing the only country they know. This is a big part of the international adoption process and I think it’s important to carry on their Ghanaian culture and to actively celebrate where they came from and keep them connected with other Ghanaians.

So, for now I wait for the chance to see a glimpse of them in photos other adoptive parents take when visiting the foster home. I am praying that a 4th time’s a charm and court actually stays as scheduled this time so we can get moving to the next step!!

- One step closer!!

In my initial adoption post ‘And Three Will Become Four,’ back in the beginning of May, we were in the very beginning stages of adopting with our homestudy not even started yet. Our relatives were still at that initial stage of concern: ‘How will you pay for it? You are going to look for a baby, right? How will this affect your son?’

Much of that we didn’t know either, but I’ve talked about a “calling” here and that is what we felt.

I now know why this process takes so long. We have about 9 months to prepare for a child when we become pregnant. We have months to read up on parenting books, take lamaze classes and go to our doctor every few weeks with any concerns or questions. With adoption it is similar, I think it is God’s way of preparing our hearts, minds and families for this new child that will become ours under different circumstances.

When my husband and I first started the adoption process, we were interested in adopting a boy ages 2-4 (preferably on the younger end). This was our comfort zone. We already have Colton who is five and we felt like we’ve been there, done that. The only other reason we were so restricting on age was because I was scared, scared of the horror stories you hear of adopting older children. There’s always somebody who knows somebody who adopted an older child and now their life is filled with counselors and trouble and it wasn’t the fairytale ending they imagined.

Over the course of a few months I felt my heart pulling towards an older child, but TJ and I only just turned 25, so we couldn’t go too old because of an age difference requirement. Our case worker ended up approving us for two biological or unrelated children up to age 6. This didn’t mean we were adopting two, but our case worker knew we kept broadening our age range and I briefly mentioned the possibility of adopting siblings if they were available.

In mid-July, before our homestudy was even complete we received and accepted our referral of “J” (you can read about it here) a 5 year old little boy. We would now be adopting out of birth order (some look at this as a big no-no) and “J” would become our oldest, but TJ and I accepted him right away- there’s no way we could have said no to “J.”

Since we still had to finish up our homestudy and get all of the paperwork lined up for our dossier and send it over to Ghana, TJ and I agreed we would be open to a second child if he would happen to come along in the next few months. If not, we would proceed with the adoption process with “J.” (Sometimes it takes months- even years for a family to be referred a child).

In the beginning of the process our social worker asked if we would be open to a girl. I quickly said no (here we go again with my comfort zone). I’ve been the Mom to a little boy for the past 5+ years, we like sports and super heros and… I have never even done a little girls hair in my life!

Throughout the months of the adoption process I began to realize that we were making life-changing choices merely based on our own selfish comfort levels. Adoption isn’t supposed to be comfortable. It’s one of the most emotional roller-coasters many people will ever go through. I couldn’t let myself sit here and pick out exactly the child I thought would be easiest when there are millions of children who don’t get the luxury of even choosing clean food, water and a family to love them.

We decided we would be open to any child that we were approved for (either gender, up to age 6).

On August 25th, we accepted the referral of “F” a sweet four and a half year old little girl.

I needed that extra few months before we could start our adoption process because we weren’t 25 yet. I now know God was using that time to open my eyes and heart to the possibility of children that weren’t in my initial “comfort zone.”

TJ and I will be on our way to Ghana next Tuesday to meet “J” and “F” and we are both excited beyond belief. The sad part is we will have to leave them after five days- a typical part of the adoption process. We ask that you please specifically pray for us to receive a court date soon. Passing court would mean they would officially be our children and have our names. We would then be able to take the next steps to bring them home (file the 1600, get their passports and birth certificates issued and finally the pick-up trip).

As Colton would say….. “Mom!… This is one step closer to my brother and sister!“