Our failed adoption has more to the story. When people have asked us about how things are going or what happened with Jonathan and Faustina, I always start out with: “it’s a long story.”
We learned that relatives came back for our son in April and three weeks after that, the same with our daughter. This does happen quite a bit with international adoption, but what’s a bit different about our case was that our children were almost home- with passports and everything.
A few weeks after the loss of our son, we happened to come across two brothers on a waiting list that stuck in our minds. Ghanaian adoptions are pretty unstable right now as they work towards implementing new regulations. Because of that, any children that are ready and waiting will have less of a chance at adoption because fewer adoptive parents will be willing to take the risks.
That was one of the reasons we decided to pursue the brothers for adoption.
At that point, we knew people would think we were crazy starting from square one again and pouring more money into international adoption. (Uh, you don’t know crazy yet! Just wait until the end of the story) The truth is: for some reason our hearts are in Ghana. We never knew that would happen when we set out on this adventure, but I do think that through adoption, people are led to different places for a reason and maybe our being led to Ghana was so this whole story could unfold.
After the news of Jonathan, but when everything was still fine with Faustina, we had plans that when the time came to bring her home, we would meet these brothers we were matched with before they went to court. Then I got a call that the same exact situation happened with Faustina… that distant relatives requested her. When I got that call I was more mad than anything, so TJ and I decided that we would go to Ghana to see if there was anything we could do.
Truly, I think these were both situations where these relatives did not necessarily want to parent these children, but with the rumors going around about Americans, they just simply did not want us to adopt them.
On the plane ride there, our hearts were racing as we were trying to think into the future on what that week in Ghana would bring. Would we come home with our daughter? Was it going to be an amazing miracle and both of our children would somehow leave in our arms? Not the best of circumstances were bringing us to Ghana, but we also had to remind ourselves that we would be meeting two little boys who we were now matched with- and we were excited for that.
We arrived at the beautiful mountainous town and had a chat with our in-country representative. He broke the news to us that there was no chance of getting Jonathan and Faustina back. The previous week, He, along with one of our friends in Ghana, rode a bus 10+ hours at our request to talk with the relatives to explain more about our family and our intentions and hopefully proving that we were not what they envisioned an American adoptive family to be.
No such luck.
This conversation happened right before he was to take us to meet the boys. In that ten minute conversation he told us that there was no chance of getting our kids back, but he also told us that he wanted to take us to meet another waiting sibling set (a brother and sister) because they would be able to get to court faster. This representative knew our situation, knew the uncertainty surrounding Ghanaian adoptions, and knew our hearts were set on adopting from Ghana so he wanted to provide us with the opportunity to get through court (a big hurdle in adoptions) before any more uncertainty comes in the process.
So, we had to choose.
That evening he took us to meet the brothers we were matched with as well as the brother and sister we learned of that very night. They were all sweet and we knew we could not take this decision lightly. On one hand we were already matched with the boys, but the thought of passing court quicker also weighed in our minds. We knew this decision could very well bring two children into our family and leave two children at the orphanage who might not ever get the chance to be adopted.
That night we prayed and prayed for an answer to come, on what choice we should make. How could we choose? We hoped for an instant connection with the sibling set we were meant to have in our family to make our decision easier.
The next day we visited all of the children at their school….. and that day we were supposed to tell our representative which pair of children we were going to pursue.
When we arrived in the classroom, all four children that we met the previous night were sitting at the same little school table.
And each of those little children lit up with smiles and waved at our familiar faces. Then they proceeded to work very hard on their school work while stealing little glances and smiles as we watched them write their abc’s.
I broke down at the sight and had to turn my back. Here all four kids were all so happy and excited to see us and little did they know we were supposed to choose only two of them that very day.
Right then and there TJ and I looked at each other and said there is no way.
And our decision was made.
As of July 4th, 2013 we have officially passed court with all four children.
Now we just pray they can all come home.