It’s been awhile since I announced our plan to adopt and now that quite a few weeks have passed, it finally feels real. We signed our contract and sent in our first installment on May 30th.
Money is a major issue for many, including us, so I want this blog to be a resource for other prospective families who may feel a calling to adopt internationally, but don’t have the upfront funds to do so. I’m keeping a spreadsheet of all of our expenses as well as how we are funding this adoption (much of it we don’t know yet!). Through the stories of many other adoptive families- I know that God does provide.
And whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. Matthew 18:5
We didn’t start our adoption because we are Christians. We didn’t want to “save a child” or “rescue an orphan” (I don’t really like those terms anyways.) We simply wanted to add to our family and knew there were millions of children out there who didn’t have Moms and Dads- so it only made sense to us.
As we get further in the process and I’m devouring books like these….
(book links: Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul
And meeting people like this….
I now know that it was a God thing from the start, not just our desire to add to the family.
I always used to hear about how people felt called to one thing or another, but never experienced it myself. I thought there would be some blatant Divine sign that would point me to my true calling.
But I was wrong.
It starts out as a whisper, a desire, a feeling.
You are the one that has to nurture those feelings. Take the time to pray about it. Talk with your spouse. Read the Bible. Read books. Seek out people who have been there.
As you make each decision and are directed down a path, your feelings become clearer and the path becomes brighter. You will find many things that reconfirm that path is the right one.
As far as adoption, I think this is why many people don’t pursue it. They may get a small desire, but never nurture that feeling because it is instantly shot down by other thoughts: I’m too old. I have too much debt. I already have a houseful. I don’t have enough bedrooms.
My goal with sharing these words and our journey is that someone with even a small desire to adopt will take the time to find out if they are truly called to adopt.
Adoptive Parents: How and when did you feel called to adopt?
Prospective Adoptive Parents: What are those fears that are holding you back?
About Emily
Hi Emily,
It looks as though we are on a similar timeline as you! We are getting our waiting on our I800 to be approved by US immigration and gathering the crazy amount of paperwork for our dossier. We haven’t been matched to a child yet, but hopefully that will happen soon! Congratulations on your referral! I’m sure “J” is beautiful!
So here is our story. We have 4 bio children…2 girls and then 2 boys. Before we had #4, I got the “urge” to look into adopting a little girl from Korea. The moment I started getting serious about looking into it, I found out I was pregnant with #4. I really thought the desire to adopt would go away after we had #4 because our house was CRAZY with chaos. When #4 turned 1 at the end of June, I became obsessed with adopting. This is how I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is a calling from God. I had never experience anything like that before either. I prayed daily for that obsession to go away if it wasn’t meant to be. It only grew. I had the first 2 agencies we looked at tell me to wait a year to put in our paperwork (because our #4 was only 1). It didn’t deter us. I had friends and family laugh at us and tell us we wouldn’t be able to handle it, that with our crazy schedule with all of our kids activities, we wouldn’t be able to do it all. It didn’t make me feel bad or question that we could handle it. I had an acquaintance really try to talk me out of it by telling me to think about what it would be like in our home in 10 years when everyone is in their teens and pre-teens and are hormonal and rebellious. That scared me a little bit :), but it still didn’t stop that desire.
We are adopting a little girl from China. Korea’s criteria and regulations didn’t match with what we were looking for (I believe another sign from above leading us to the child that is meant to be our daughter).
We don’t have enough bedrooms and it’s going to be a struggle trying to figure that out, but it WILL be OK. :) I have a sick stomach when I think of 5 college educations, but I know we’ll make that work some how. My head spins when I think of trying to be at 5 different kid’s activities at one time, but we’ll figure that out too. I want to throw up when I think about adding more laundry to the already ginormous pile that I have…but that one isn’t going to go away! :)
Then I think about the fun we’ll have as a large family. I think of holidays and grandchildren and the fact that my children will always have someone to lean on, a bunch of siblings that have their back. It’s overwhelming, but exciting. God gives me peace instead of anxiety when it comes to this subject. When He calls us to do something, we can’t ignore it. He will take care of us and make our new family work. It may not always be sunshine and rainbows, but no family is. I know this little girl (whoever she will be) is going to bless our family so much. I’ve been reading a wonderful, amazing book called “The Lost Daughters of China” and in it she talks about the Chinese believing that a red string is attached to us and the other end of that string is attached to our waiting child. We are connected by that string which was put in place long before we came to be. One day that string leads us to our child. I know have a red string attached to my ankle and am hoping soon that it leads me to my daughter.
Blessings to you!