My boys are two years apart and while they are best friends 95 % of the time, the other 5% they nudge each other to the breaking point.   They have similar interests and like to play the same things.  There are some days that are better than others – and it also depends on what mood each one is in.  From the beginning I have always tried to explain to them that for the rest of their lives they have each other – they are family – be nice to each other… well as many of you can imagine that doesn’t always work.

Here are some other tips for promoting sibling harmony… I will definitely be implementing some of them around here.

1. Allow siblings to express their feelings about each other.  Give your children time and space to vent their frustration.  When they talk – listen; acknowledge you understand his/her viewpoint.  Tell them this is something they can work out.
2. Know when to step in.  When inevitable small arguments occur, it’s good to let your kids learn to work things out on their own. They are practicing negotiating skills for later in life.  If the argument becomes a fight, then intervene.  The more they are allowed to fight as children, the more likely they are to fight as adults.
3. Make cooperation opportunities.  Once a month, plan a family event in which teams are formed, pair your kids together so they learn to cooperate to succeed.  The feeling of mutual accomplishment will bring them closer.
4. Hold family meetings.  Routinely get your whole family together to address anything that’s come up.  You even can hold these meetings during family dinners.  Encourage your kids to bring up anything they would like to discuss.
5. Don’t make comparisons.  It’s difficult not to compare your children, but to promote harmony, address the issue of the moment – the messy room, the backtalk, or the forgotten chores.  Keep each child’s strengths in mind and look for opportunities to point them out.
6. Promote the meaning of family.  Periodically reiterate to your children the importance of family.  Show them the closeness of family by remaining close to your own siblings.  Remind them that friends may come and go, but family.

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